Calling All Farmers
by Anon

Mojaje, the rain queen, lives in the northern territory somewhere, and has a reputation for being able to do all sorts of wonderful things, including the bringing on of rain when it is needed. Being a very powerful Sangoma endows her with this remarkable talent.

However successful she is, her powers pale into insignificance compared to the powers astronomers have in bringing on rain.

Every astronomer knows that one only has to acquire a telescope and it will be cloudy for a week, starting the very night you get your telescope assembled. On the other hand BUILDING your own telescope will ensure that it is cloudy for three weeks. This only applies to 6-inch telescopes. The duration of the cloudy weather is also proportional to the size of the telescope one has just made. Bigger telescopes bring on more cloud. A 12-inch would probably turn the Kalahari into a swimming pool.

The English had an attempt at rain making by inventing the game of cricket. Close monitoring of the World Cup, currently in progress could determine the effectiveness of this tactic. It is possible since this invention is over a hundred years old that its effectiveness is wearing off.

Personally, I have a very high success rate just by washing my car. The rain I manage to bring on does not produce a huge deluge though, but usually just enough to settle all the dust from the atmosphere in little brown globules onto my nice shiny car.

My wife, on the other hand, has a great deal of success by watering the garden. We can have six months of drought with the garden looking dry and droopy and just by giving it a good soaking she can guarantee 100mm of rain in the next 24 hours.

The reason this topic came up was because of the success Trevor Gould has had in attracting rain - at a time of the year when Johannesburg NEVER has rain. Trevor organised two groups of visitors to the observatory recently and on each occasion the visits were wiped out, not by cloud, but by unseasonal rain storms. This rain persisted, on and off, for a fortnight. A 100% success rate.

So when the country is next in the grip of a serious drought, I can recommend one person to consult for instant relief - and it is not Mojaje.

Submitted by
Brian Fraser